I was at a gathering the other day and the conversation inevitably turned to the benefits of food and diet.

I didn’t initiate the convo – it follows me around – I swear.

One of the beautiful gals that was there, that also happens to struggle with her weight, said in an exasperated and joking way;

”O.K. so you (pointing to me) stand on this side of me, and you (referring to the gal that started the conversation) get on the other side, and maybe if you both HAMMER it into my head, then maybe it’ll finally sink in.”

That comment, made as an offhand joke, is representative of a common delusion.

Let me explain.


A theme I see with clients, is this weird belief that if they punish themselves enough, with violent self-talk – hammer themselves enough – the universe will reward them with slim thighs, and all will be well.

It’s as if suffering and repenting will somehow make up for their food transgressions and then they’ll finally be over it. They’ll be fixed.

I even see clients that resist making their food taste good because they believe that success can only come from making themselves miserable and depriving themselves.

Ahhhh. Not true.

There’s a big difference between using processed, junk food to numb yourself, and honoring yourself and your body by making your healthy, wholesome food taste delicious.


Are you part of the hammer brigade?

If so, let me ask:

How has it been working for you?


Pay attention the next time that you feel like going on a binge.

If you’re doing it to numb yourself – then you likely have enough pain in your life.

How can adding to that pain ever help?

The solution will always be with less hammering and more gentling ❤️

Reach out  if you’re ready for sustainable change.